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Still Life by =inspiredimperfection:iconinspiredimperfection:

Categories Literature > Poetry > General Poetry > Open


Everyday you pose;
    Stripped;
     Clothed;
Identifying, mystifying;
You submit to the exposure,
Resenting the attempts to iconify your soul;
Now just a static blur, stamped into nature;
Abused blues dyed in your melancholy.
Try to add colour to your desaturated self,
It's just a matter of time before you fade into someone else.
Just a matter of life-forming into a lost cause.
   Step out the lines they've begun drawing,
     And away from a mesmerizing paralysis;
Becoming your own canvas,
Embracing the pain;
Still-life is worth it.
©2007-2009 =inspiredimperfection
:iconinspiredimperfection:

Author's Comments

submitted for the workshop "Ekphrasis", for more details see the article [link]

reference image:
"[link]
Side note: Aside from wanting this to reflect the ekhprasis between the two disciplines (the original painting and this poetry), I also wanted to try and have the respondent (aka me) have two different perspectives towards the original work... cuz that's how twisted i am :bucktooth:

[update - Dec. 7] i switched the order of the lines "now just a.." and "abused blues.." around. this is actually how i wanted the lines to flow in the first place, but i must have gotten distracted just before submitting (i tend to do the must editing while i submit lol)
[update - Dec. 10] added punctuation as wisely advised by ^poeticwar and `beccalicious. also confirmed the title =P

Critiques


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:icondoublecrash:
*Doublecrash Dec 4, 2007, 5:16:28 PM
I already loved this one.

So much.

--
*My stock account: ~Doublecrash-stock

"He must be a king."
"Why?"
"He hasn't got shit all over him."

[Monty Python]
:iconinspiredimperfection:
=inspiredimperfection Dec 4, 2007, 11:10:38 PM
Thank you so much, you were very much on my mind when i submitted this :)

--
Brain tingles ftw :bucktooth:
:icondoublecrash:
*Doublecrash Dec 5, 2007, 3:56:50 AM
:hug:

--
*My stock account: ~Doublecrash-stock

"He must be a king."
"Why?"
"He hasn't got shit all over him."

[Monty Python]
:iconamy--louise:
~Amy--Louise Dec 5, 2007, 7:57:02 AM
This is a different approach to the ekphraisis . . I am wondering if I did it right after reading this! I feel anger in the voice of the speaker. The painting is personified in a whole new way . .
I like it very much- a little distracted by the 'ings' in the first half. I particularly like 'abused blues' and 'desaturated self'. :D

--
"To avoid criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.":frail:
:iconxcamix:
~xCamix Dec 5, 2007, 8:48:31 AM
The first six lines are my favourite... full of emotion!
I like your work - reading it quickly it could seem strange in some way ; only reading slowly you can catch the words. In my opinion ...

--
› ¤ ‡ Camilla ‡ ¤ ‹

06/02 => DD :faint:

07/02 => DailyDeviant's feature :faint:
:iconcrystalseeker:
Mood: Noble ~CrystalSeeker Dec 5, 2007, 11:51:55 AM
Becoming your own canvas
Embracing the pain
Still life is worth it

You got me there. You got me there so. Amazing.

--
How do you know if you exist?
:iconbatousaijin:
~batousaijin Dec 5, 2007, 10:26:03 PM
whose is the other perspective? :?

--
Tots and Teens: The Children's Literature Contest --Amazing literature and amazing prizes!! :typerhappy:
:iconinspiredimperfection:
=inspiredimperfection Dec 5, 2007, 10:55:45 PM
are we looking at "still life" the art, or an objectified person?

perhaps the reference image can give you a better feel of my two perspective ive tried to express :)

--
Brain tingles ftw :bucktooth:
:iconinspiredimperfection:
=inspiredimperfection Dec 6, 2007, 12:15:03 AM
:flirty: thank you so. much :flirty:

--
Brain tingles ftw :bucktooth:
:iconinspiredimperfection:
=inspiredimperfection Dec 6, 2007, 12:15:56 AM
Thank you so much for your comment, and for taking the time and effort to feel the emotions behind it :)

--
Brain tingles ftw :bucktooth:
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