The thing is that I
yearn
for a dream of an extraordinary moment
before a piece of me froze;
that life which I had lost,
because of
something I saw--
a child;
me.
The thing is that I yearn for a dream of an extraordinary moment before a piece of me froze; that life which I had lost, because of something I saw-- a child; me. |
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Comments
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"If they give you ruled paper, write the other way." -- Juan Ramón Jiménez
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Brain tingles ftw
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Brain tingles ftw
The thing is that I
yearn
for a dream
of an extraordinary moment,
before a piece of me
froze
-- I might be reading this wrong, but the break from present to past tense here is making it hard for me to get by. "That I yearn," yet you used "froze" instead of "freezes."
I just noticed the two conflicted with each other, but if I am mistaken then I apologize for wasting your time. Either way, it was a delicious read.
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'A stranger with a head full of lead photographs me.' - Steven Wilson
the yearned for "dream" is already in the past--i agree its quite vague; i've tried to clear things up a bit, i'd appreciate your feedback again
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Brain tingles ftw
I was always meaning to favorite this, but when I commented I accidentally logged off before doing so.
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'A stranger with a head full of lead photographs me.' - Steven Wilson
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Brain tingles ftw
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'A stranger with a head full of lead photographs me.' - Steven Wilson
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